The Cheese

So we get to the party
And I immediately start looking
For the cheese

I’d avoided eating all day
Because I didn’t want to spend my own money on food
When I knew there’d be
An entire assortment of cheese
Just waiting for me

Now, I don’t want to sound like a snob
It’s not like I was expecting
Foreign delicacies or anything

Cheddar is fine
Gouda is fine
Anything even slightly aged
And I’m a happy camper

I get there early
Because I don’t want any of the selections
To run out
Before I get a chance
To sample them

…And there’s no cheese

Oh, don’t get me wrong
There’s food
If you want to call it that

Sandwiches
Deli meats
Some kind of vegetable platter

But no cheese

I find the hostess
And I asked her
When I can expect the cheese
Since I’m assuming
This is just some sort of
Horrible oversight
On her part

And she tells me
That they forgot to get the cheese

Forgot
To get
The cheese

I don’t even understand that sentence
She might as well
Have been speaking
Australian

I’m standing there
With no cheese
Looking like the saddest person
Who ever lived
And all I wanna do is scream out—


What kind of a funeral is this?

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