Dear Joe

Dear Joe,

Today I’d like to introduce you
To the woman you’re about to marry

Oh, don’t worry
The woman is me
But the woman is also
Standing a world away from you
In a place
You’ll never get to
No matter how badly
You’d like to see it

I don’t know that woman’s name
But she’s been with me
For as long
As I can remember

Stuck to the bottom
Of who I was
Trying to get me
To pay attention
To her

But anytime
I looked over at her
She’d turn her back on me
And let go on wondering
About who it was
On the other side of me

Joe, did you know
You were marrying a poet?

I didn’t either
Until now

People tell you
That the dangerous thing
About marriage
Is that the people you love
Change
And that you change
And that one day
You wind up
Two different people
Who can’t love each other
Anymore

But the truth is
I don’t even know who I am now
So if I change
I probably won’t even know it

I just hope I change into
Somebody
Who’s all in one piece
And not split into halves
Or thirds
Or however many pieces of me
There are

I’ve heard whispers
That I’m crazy
But I think what they mean to say is
Complicated

Although if you say crazy
It doesn’t leave
Much room
For complicated
Does it?

Doesn’t leave a lot of room
For kindness either

The last time you carried me home
You told me you loved me no matter what
And that was when I realized
That it wasn’t just me
You’re a stranger to

I’m a stop in the story
Your story
And it’s going to go on and on
And mine…

Joe, I don’t know
How mine’s
Going to go

But I’ve never been on a road
That didn’t wind up
At a dead end

And I’ve never stood next to a man
That didn’t try to cast me
In his shadow

…Until you

That’s why I said ‘Sure, let’s get married’
Because I could see
How bad you wanted it
And I could see that
There really wasn’t any reason for me
Not to marry you

That doesn’t mean
I thought it was a good idea
Or that it would last
Or that I was doing you
Or myself
Some kind of favor

It just meant—

‘Sure, let’s be happy
For now’

How much happiness
Do you think you’re entitled to, Joe?

I’ve never thought
I was entitled to any
So anytime I got some
It was a nice surprise

You were a nice surprise

And one day that woman will turn around
And show herself
And I hope you’re there
When she does, Joe

I hope I’m there too

In my mind, she’s a great lady
She’s a wonderful person
Much better than me

And you know
After all these years

I’d really love to meet her

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