Dear Josephine

Dear Josephine,

Your mother says

If we’re ever to marry

I have to escape from my island prison

And show up at your door

Holding three different kinds of flowers

And a box of chocolates

For your senile, old uncle

Who does not approve of me

I have conquered all the worlds

Laid out before me

But a bell rings in a classroom

And I am doodling on notepaper

Writing your name in various ways

With my name right beside it

Josephine, will you attend prom with me?
Josephine, will you see the world with me?
Josephine, will you call me Genghis Kahn?
Will you call me Alexander the Great?

Josephine, will you tell me

My own name?

Here by the water, I watch as the swimming team

Traverses the waves

Slowly transforming into sea lions

That beach themselves

On varsity jackets

While a school bus waits

To take them home

I write endless correspondence to your mother

Asking her to amend her demands

So that I may skip the step of purchasing flowers

Because they make me sneeze

And not because I don’t believe you deserve them

I believe you deserve everything, Josephine

I believe you are the reason the word ‘deserve’ exists

But I am a silly looking little man

And if I were to ever sneeze in front of you

I can’t imagine you ever taking me seriously again

Despite my military prowess

And the skill with which I write

I looked up just now from this letter

Because I thought I heard a teacher

Say my name

With that clipped, curt tone

One would use

For someone who is daydreaming

I am always daydreaming these days

And at night, I dream of dreaming

But alas, I stay awake

And recite Shakespeare

And Yeats

And whatever I believe

Will be found on tomorrow’s exam

Josephine, I sweat and shake and shiver

And none of it has any reason to it!

Is this really love?

Can someone tell me?

My body refuses to give me height

But my heart hurts

The way I imagine a tall man would

Upon finding that his love lives in a place

Where the ceiling is too low

For him to get comfortable

That, Josephine, that is what it is like

Loving someone like you

Someone I can’t believe

Could ever love me back

And surely not as deeply

As I love her

I watched you perform Juliet

In the school play

And even from the back of the auditorium

Where I sat alone

You were a spotlight

Unto yourself

Your voice

A glimmering vessel

Through which any word

Would be lucky

To pass through

When you died

I died with you

And when you stood up

To receive your applause

I couldn’t hear the clapping

Of anyone else but me

That is how loud my acclaim rang out

Throughout that sterile venue

Dear Josephine,

Tomorrow I will walk away from the shore

And I may not stop

The last time I did it

I got as far as the third set of waves

And there I saw a woman

With stones in her hair

Smiling at me

And something made me turn back

All the flowers in the world

Won’t make me your Romeo, Josephine

All the chocolates in Switzerland

Won’t win over your sour uncle

Or anyone else

Who thinks me unworthy of you

All the love letters

Dipped in ocean water

Won’t soothe the fire

A man feels inside himself

When he cannot have the only thing

That he knows would bring him

True satisfaction

The love of a woman

With snacks inside her locker

That she hands out to whomever is nearby

A woman who helps you

Pick up your books
When you drop them in the hallway

Between classes

A woman who says your name

In a way that makes you hear

Genghis Kahn

Or Alexander

Or the name of anyone

Who has seen an unfinished map

And dared to complete it

A woman who inspires you

To conquer the world

Because only then

Could you ever

Ask to belong to her

Can you help me, Josephine?

Will you help me?

Will you tell me

My own name?