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The Cheese

So we get to the party And I immediately start looking For the cheese I’d avoided eating all day Because I didn’t want to spend my own money on food When I knew there’d be An entire assortment of cheese Just waiting for me Now, I don’t want to sound like a snob It’s not like I was expecting Foreign delicacies or anything Cheddar is fine Gouda is fine Anything even slightly aged And I’m a happy camper I get there early Because I don’t want any of the selections To run out Before I get a chance To sample them …And there’s no cheese Oh, don’t get me wrong There’s food If you want to call it that Sandwiches Deli meats Some kind of vegetable platter But no cheese I find the hostess And I asked her When I can expect the cheese Since I’m assuming This is just some sort of Horrible oversight On her part And she tells me That they forgot to get the cheese Forgot To get The cheese I don’t eve...

Dear Juliet

Dear Juliet, But soft, the wedding bells Do ring Do you hear them, Juliet? Do you hear Their drawn out song? Onward may they carry you Into the arms of your beau The one who would not fight The man who pledged his heart to peace The coward who only loves those With giving hearts And timid memories Will you walk happily to the altar, Juliet? Will birds sing? Will dragonflies parade about your hair? Will the clergyman bless you To your satisfaction? And wherefore art thou, Romeo? Stuck in a grave A mausoleum Decorated like royalty Though a title Never would befit His head or person Do you stand out on your balcony, Juliet? Do you pretend to hear The soft words Of young love Levitating up to you? Do you wish the man About to be your husband Could spring such affection Towards you? Do you trace your hand Across your heart And pray for Romeo? And do you think He hears you When you do? Dear Ju...

Dear Guinevere

Dear Guinevere, There’s a picture of you and Arthur Standing near a body of water Posing for a photograph Trying to look happy It’s somebody’s wedding (Not yours) And Arthur’s hand is around your waist And he’s leaning into you As if he’s whispering something In your ear And you’re looking At the person taking the picture Not at the camera But at the photographer As if you want to tell them Something But can’t Because Arthur is close He’s too close And he won’t like Whatever it is You have to say Dear Guinevere Maybe it is your wedding after all Although your dress Is very casual And your shoes Are far too extravagant To belong to a new bride Your crown is slightly askew And we can’t see your wedding ring But that might have something to do With the way you’re being photographed You have your hands Behind your back And Arthur looks like He could be keeping them there But at the same time There’...

Dear Josephine

Dear Josephine, Your mother says If we’re ever to marry I have to escape from my island prison And show up at your door Holding three different kinds of flowers And a box of chocolates For your senile, old uncle Who does not approve of me I have conquered all the worlds Laid out before me But a bell rings in a classroom And I am doodling on notepaper Writing your name in various ways With my name right beside it Josephine, will you attend prom with me? Josephine, will you see the world with me? Josephine, will you call me Genghis Kahn? Will you call me Alexander the Great? Josephine, will you tell me My own name? Here by the water, I watch as the swimming team Traverses the waves Slowly transforming into sea lions That beach themselves On varsity jackets While a school bus waits To take them home I write endless correspondence to your mother Asking her to amend her demands So that I may skip the step of purchasing fl...

Dear Wendy

Dear Wendy, Salutations and congratulations Are in order For today, you marry a man A grown-up Who will care for you When you are old And love you When you are irritable Someone who does not care If you are pretty or ugly Because he loves something else in you That cannot be described We do not know what that thing is But we’re sure it’s very special If it can make another person Overlook all the horrible things One becomes As they grow older And we’re certainly glad You were gifted with it Unfortunately, we will not be attending your wedding For reasons that are interpersonal In that, they deal with multiple people In personal ways That intersect In hurtful ways To some of those people We’re sorry for sounding so aloof But we don’t have real weddings on Neverland Just ceremonies where pirates marry mermaids And are then eaten by their new brides As soon as they’re taken back to their bridal cove Figuring o...

Dear Autumn

Dear Autumn, As the winter Chases the last of the summer Around the moon You arrive in a chariot And leave in a procession Dear Autumn, who gives us poetry Dear Autumn, who departs without her bounty Dear Autumn, who teaches us to cherish The things we let melt in the snow Or burn off in the sun Autumn, who led me to Spring But wouldn’t let me fall in love Because nothing will last And everything will change Beneath the tree house my mother made me I found messages from Sunday’s And lost Thanksgivings They were letters to a girl I never met Because she lived across the street And only went on dates with boys Who told funny stories And smoked stolen cigarettes I wrote the letters And buried them in my backyard But when you write a love letter in Autumn She keeps it in her pocket And brings it to harvest When the time is right When my mother was sick I returned home And climbed up into The old treehouse Wo...

To Cleopatra on Her 16th Birthday

To Cleopatra on Her 16 th Birthday Hail O Queen O Sailer of Rivers O Temple Goddess O Chosen One O of O’s Of all the O’s Hail to Thee On this— Your sixteenth birthday May the candles on your cake Burn like the houses of your enemies When the guards sought them out And made them watch As their scheming huts And conspiracy tents Were turned to ash May the cake taste as fine As the nectar Rained down upon you When you first born A baby clad in happy tears Shed by the gods And may the presents Be to your liking Except for the one from your aunt Which is probably A gift certificate Or a blouse That won’t fit May everything be perfection On this day of days When the sands creep up to the palace And the crows fly overhead And the whispers of enemies Move behind our ears And beyond our understanding Peace be to you, Cleopatra When other girls from school arrive To see if your sixteenth birthday party C...